Browse By Unit
15 min readâ˘june 18, 2024
Melissa Longnecker
Melissa Longnecker
View student writing samples for the AP World History: Modern SAQ and corresponding feedback provided by Fiveable teacher Melissa Longnecker. It is important to learn what students did correct AND incorrect to improve one's own SAQ writing.
Answer all parts of the question below
1. I like the example youâve included in this one - dates, names, etc. are always good to use when you know them. Because not all states gained independence the same way, you can also think of a similarity statement along the lines of âMany (or most) states in Africa and Asia gained independence byâŚâ and then follow up with an example or detail. 2. your answer here is correct. You need more to fully explain it. One way to do this would be to choose two examples and give a brief reason why they gained independence differently. (In this case it might look something like, âIndia peacefully protested against Britain until they received independence because _____⌠while _____ fought violently for their independence because ______.â) 3. This is another great answer. Youâre right to note that debt and economic dependence continued after political independence for decolonizing states. The thing I would add to this answer would be an example, if you have one.
1. This is a great answer. It introduces a clear similarity with specific examples. You are right in your comment that you wouldnât need to look up Kemalâs name necessarily. You could just describe the Turkish system with as much detail as you can remember. 2. This is another good answer. Clear answer with good details. If possible, try to make sure your details fully connect to your main points (the Pan-Arab movement is a good example, but doesnât fully address the military campaigns.) You wouldnât need to change this answer necessarily, but future answers should be as connected as possible. 3. This is a great answer. I notice youâve given general details about African countries (rather than specific countries), and it actually works really well here. Feel free to do this on other SAQs if youâre stuck on remembering the specific names of people/places!
One general thing I notice in your responses is the length. Itâs a good idea to give detail and explanation to expand your ideas, so keep doing that. If you found you needed to look up a lot of information to make your answers so detailed, itâs also ok to shorten your answers in this SAQ format. Generally, weâre looking for very to-the-point answers, so you donât need an intro phrase or any of the other flourishes youâd want in a longer format answer. You can also usually get away with just one key example, rather than several, in an SAQ response. 1. This is a good answer. I wouldnât have thought of including Japan as an example of a newly-independent country, but youâve made a good case for comparing it with India here. 2. Another good answer. Remember, you can shorten these by giving just one example from India and Algeria to show their difference, rather than elaborating with such detail. (If you remember the detail on your own, and can create these answers in the time allotted, have at it.) 3. This is a good answer, and really different from the way I usually see this question addressed. I like the link to Communism restricting independence.
1. Youâre right to think that this answer doesnât need as much detail, since itâs phrased as an âidentifyâ prompt. I would clarify what you mean by âcolonies built governments of the west.â I think I know what youâre going for here⌠but Iâm not exactly sure. Do you mean Western-style or Western-inspired governments? Or something else? 2. This is a good start to this answer. The examples here are really good and they go a long way to clarify your initial statement. The opening sentence is probably a bit too broad, since not all countries in Africa or Asia decolonized in the same way (Vietnamâs decolonization was very violent, after all.) 3. This is a good start to this answer. Youâre right to remember that former colonies remained dependent on their former colonizers. Can you give an example and explain why?
1. This is a good start to this response. Iâm especially glad to see a specific example to support your main idea. Remember in a similarity question that you will want to address an idea that relates to more than one place. In this case, giving another short example like the Mau Mau would show the similarity youâre talking about here. 2. In SAQs, we try to treat the pieces independently. In this case that means that you would want to separate part 2 from part 1. You would want an example each of a peaceful and a violent independence movement to support this response. 3. This is an interesting answer. I like the way youâre thinking about the USSR restricting the freedoms of some states. Giving an example of which state(s) were restricted in this way would strengthen your answer and connect it to the idea of the prompt (limited independence for new states.)
1. Since this was an âidentifyâ prompt, this answer would work. I would be inclined to add one more sentence giving an example of at least two states that had a violent struggle for independence, just to confirm that you really know your history. 2. This answer works really well too. Youâve given clear examples and connected them back to a good answer for this prompt! 3. his answer works well. I like the explanation for how the USSR limited the independence of Eastern Bloc countries. If you were going to improve this response, you might give an example of a place affected by COMINFORM, or specify how that limited the independence of those states. It works well as written, though⌠so this is just me being picky.
1. This is a really thoughtful answer. One way you could strengthen it would be to give a more concise detail about French Indochina (this is a great example, by the way!) and then one more quick example of another state that acted quickly after WWII. This would highlight the similarity youâre trying to prove. 2. This answer is great. Itâs just the right balance between concise and detailed! 3. This is another really thoughtful answer. It includes a good amount of detail, with the needed analysis to make it complete.
1. Any time a prompt asks you to make a comparison (a similarity, in this case), be sure that you include two things to compare. If Egypt gained independence from Britain (how?), be sure to include another example of a state that gained its independence the same way. 2. This is a good start to this response. You can continue to strengthen your comparative writing by showing how or why the two examples differ. 3. This is another good start. Youâre right to be thinking about the Cold War as something that limited independence for new states. Be sure to explain how and connect your answer to the newly independent states the prompt asks about.
1. This answer has some great detail. It does wander a bit away from the task of the prompt. In this case, a strong response would simply identify a similarity among newly decolonized states with just enough detail/examples to show you understand what youâre talking about. You wouldnât need quite this much information in this type of prompt. 2. Both parts 1 and 2 are comparative tasks, so its important that your response is comparative too. For this difference, itâs a good idea to include two brief examples that highlight the clear difference youâre trying to prove. 3. Youâre right to think about the Cold War for this prompt. To strengthen your response, think about how the competition between the US and USSR limited the independence of other states. I think you could keep your example of Korea, with a little more explanation to connect back to the prompt.
<< Hide Menu
15 min readâ˘june 18, 2024
Melissa Longnecker
Melissa Longnecker
View student writing samples for the AP World History: Modern SAQ and corresponding feedback provided by Fiveable teacher Melissa Longnecker. It is important to learn what students did correct AND incorrect to improve one's own SAQ writing.
Answer all parts of the question below
1. I like the example youâve included in this one - dates, names, etc. are always good to use when you know them. Because not all states gained independence the same way, you can also think of a similarity statement along the lines of âMany (or most) states in Africa and Asia gained independence byâŚâ and then follow up with an example or detail. 2. your answer here is correct. You need more to fully explain it. One way to do this would be to choose two examples and give a brief reason why they gained independence differently. (In this case it might look something like, âIndia peacefully protested against Britain until they received independence because _____⌠while _____ fought violently for their independence because ______.â) 3. This is another great answer. Youâre right to note that debt and economic dependence continued after political independence for decolonizing states. The thing I would add to this answer would be an example, if you have one.
1. This is a great answer. It introduces a clear similarity with specific examples. You are right in your comment that you wouldnât need to look up Kemalâs name necessarily. You could just describe the Turkish system with as much detail as you can remember. 2. This is another good answer. Clear answer with good details. If possible, try to make sure your details fully connect to your main points (the Pan-Arab movement is a good example, but doesnât fully address the military campaigns.) You wouldnât need to change this answer necessarily, but future answers should be as connected as possible. 3. This is a great answer. I notice youâve given general details about African countries (rather than specific countries), and it actually works really well here. Feel free to do this on other SAQs if youâre stuck on remembering the specific names of people/places!
One general thing I notice in your responses is the length. Itâs a good idea to give detail and explanation to expand your ideas, so keep doing that. If you found you needed to look up a lot of information to make your answers so detailed, itâs also ok to shorten your answers in this SAQ format. Generally, weâre looking for very to-the-point answers, so you donât need an intro phrase or any of the other flourishes youâd want in a longer format answer. You can also usually get away with just one key example, rather than several, in an SAQ response. 1. This is a good answer. I wouldnât have thought of including Japan as an example of a newly-independent country, but youâve made a good case for comparing it with India here. 2. Another good answer. Remember, you can shorten these by giving just one example from India and Algeria to show their difference, rather than elaborating with such detail. (If you remember the detail on your own, and can create these answers in the time allotted, have at it.) 3. This is a good answer, and really different from the way I usually see this question addressed. I like the link to Communism restricting independence.
1. Youâre right to think that this answer doesnât need as much detail, since itâs phrased as an âidentifyâ prompt. I would clarify what you mean by âcolonies built governments of the west.â I think I know what youâre going for here⌠but Iâm not exactly sure. Do you mean Western-style or Western-inspired governments? Or something else? 2. This is a good start to this answer. The examples here are really good and they go a long way to clarify your initial statement. The opening sentence is probably a bit too broad, since not all countries in Africa or Asia decolonized in the same way (Vietnamâs decolonization was very violent, after all.) 3. This is a good start to this answer. Youâre right to remember that former colonies remained dependent on their former colonizers. Can you give an example and explain why?
1. This is a good start to this response. Iâm especially glad to see a specific example to support your main idea. Remember in a similarity question that you will want to address an idea that relates to more than one place. In this case, giving another short example like the Mau Mau would show the similarity youâre talking about here. 2. In SAQs, we try to treat the pieces independently. In this case that means that you would want to separate part 2 from part 1. You would want an example each of a peaceful and a violent independence movement to support this response. 3. This is an interesting answer. I like the way youâre thinking about the USSR restricting the freedoms of some states. Giving an example of which state(s) were restricted in this way would strengthen your answer and connect it to the idea of the prompt (limited independence for new states.)
1. Since this was an âidentifyâ prompt, this answer would work. I would be inclined to add one more sentence giving an example of at least two states that had a violent struggle for independence, just to confirm that you really know your history. 2. This answer works really well too. Youâve given clear examples and connected them back to a good answer for this prompt! 3. his answer works well. I like the explanation for how the USSR limited the independence of Eastern Bloc countries. If you were going to improve this response, you might give an example of a place affected by COMINFORM, or specify how that limited the independence of those states. It works well as written, though⌠so this is just me being picky.
1. This is a really thoughtful answer. One way you could strengthen it would be to give a more concise detail about French Indochina (this is a great example, by the way!) and then one more quick example of another state that acted quickly after WWII. This would highlight the similarity youâre trying to prove. 2. This answer is great. Itâs just the right balance between concise and detailed! 3. This is another really thoughtful answer. It includes a good amount of detail, with the needed analysis to make it complete.
1. Any time a prompt asks you to make a comparison (a similarity, in this case), be sure that you include two things to compare. If Egypt gained independence from Britain (how?), be sure to include another example of a state that gained its independence the same way. 2. This is a good start to this response. You can continue to strengthen your comparative writing by showing how or why the two examples differ. 3. This is another good start. Youâre right to be thinking about the Cold War as something that limited independence for new states. Be sure to explain how and connect your answer to the newly independent states the prompt asks about.
1. This answer has some great detail. It does wander a bit away from the task of the prompt. In this case, a strong response would simply identify a similarity among newly decolonized states with just enough detail/examples to show you understand what youâre talking about. You wouldnât need quite this much information in this type of prompt. 2. Both parts 1 and 2 are comparative tasks, so its important that your response is comparative too. For this difference, itâs a good idea to include two brief examples that highlight the clear difference youâre trying to prove. 3. Youâre right to think about the Cold War for this prompt. To strengthen your response, think about how the competition between the US and USSR limited the independence of other states. I think you could keep your example of Korea, with a little more explanation to connect back to the prompt.
Š 2024 Fiveable Inc. All rights reserved.